Emmy and Consequences

So, Tom and I have decided that we won't be taking Emmy to any restaurants again (unless there is a very VERY compelling reason to do so) until she better understands consequences.

Right now, we're at a stage where consequences don't mean much.  That's totally normal, and I'm aware of that.  But an almost-two-year-old without any understanding of consequences or "punishment" is really difficult to control in settings where you can't allow them to have free-rein.

At home, we're fine, because all the things that Emmy can't touch are out of her reach or put away.  But when we're out, there are totally different sets of rules and Emmy just doesn't understand that yet.

The other night (and this is not the first time its happened, but it serves to illustrate the point) we were out at a Mexican restaurant.  Emmy was in a booster seat (so no straps to keep her in the seat) and she was squirmy, screechy, and as always, messy.

She kept standing up to look into the booth behind us, and I kept making her sit back down in the seat.  Finally, I sat her down, and put my arm over her lap to hold her in the seat.  She pushed my arm away --and then-- she swiped her arm across the table, slinging salsa all over (including mama's shirt sleeve).

I snatched her up out of the seat, and walked to the front of the restaurant and then took her outside.  I sat her down and asked, "Do you want to go home?" (This is the chosen punishment for not behaving while we're out)


She looked at me, nodded, and said, "Okay."


And that was the moment when it hit home that she doesn't understand consequences.  It doesn't matter to her if we're out or at home.  She gets fed regardless.  And though I think she understands that mama is disappointed when she misbehaves, she doesn't really have much concept about what behavior is acceptable vs. unacceptable, especially when considered acceptable at home and not at a restaurant (or grocery store, etc.).


So, I took her back to the table and we got through dinner, and when we got home, we decided that, for now, we'll avoid restaurants like the plague.  Which, I imagine, won't upset too many restaurant staff who have to clean up the disaster under the table after we leave.